Beb's Banana Pudding

I never know how to feel on Hayden's birthday. Should I be sad? Should I celebrate? Should I ignore it? It's the second hardest day of the year for me. I want to be happy and celebrate it but it's hard to ignore the lingering and nagging grief and sadness, She should be the one celebrating not me. But in true Hayden fashion I'm sure she is at the beach somewhere getting a super dark tan and reading the flood of Facebook messages that are finally all about her ;).

I really embraced cooking after she died. It was an outlet, I didn't have to think. But most importantly the smells and the food itself were so comforting. Pasta's, cupcakes, popcorns...all that stuff that is so bad for you but warms your heart and reminds you of home all at the same time. I've often thought about writing a book about cooking through grief and how it helped me get by. As tragic as this situation has been and still is, the silver lining was that I found a love for cooking and sharing that with all of you.

Today I have really loved seeing everyone remembering, wearing purple or pieces of her clothing, eating her favorite foods. So it's only appropriate to share a recipe for one of her all time favorite foods...Banana Pudding.

 

First, you need a little back story on this gem of a snack. I guess it all goes back to Black Eyed Pea. We had one down the street and frequently ate there as a family. I don't think anyone ever ate their meals especially not the vegetables, but we certainly ate that banana pudding. It was a moment where all four of us could come together and appreciate something (that doesn't happen often). This period was follwed by a lull in banana pudding eating. Not to worry though, we more than made up for lost time when Hayden moved up to New York with me. I had discovered that Magnolia Bakery offered a $45 dollar tub...yes a large TUB of banana pudding. I made the mistake of telling Hayden about these heavenly tubs, and soon she was there on a regular basis. She would single handedly devour those tubs. She might have claimed to buy one for her whole apartment, but we all know she would just finish it alone in one sitting. Those expensive tubs brought her so much joy, and brought the rest of us years of laughs with her then and now.

The banana pudding recipe I'm going to share with you is by Paula Deen. Everyone can have their opinion about her, but the lady is a darn good cook. And her banana pudding is absolutely amazing. Lots of southern families have family recipes that have been passed down, but do yourself a favor and give this one a try. It might just become your new favorite and one of the best ways to remember Hayden.

Beb's Banana Pudding

2 bags Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies*
6 to 8 bananas, sliced
2 cups milk
1 box instant** French vanilla pudding (5 oz.)
1  package cream cheese (8 oz), softened
1 can sweetened condensed milk (14 oz.)
1  container Cool Whip thawed (12 oz)

*Make sure to get the seasonal ones for Christmas!

**Make sure you get instant! This is essential

Step 1: Use the cookies to line the bottom of a 13 by 9 inch casserole dish, Then make a second layer with the sliced bananas.

Step 2: Blend the milk and pudding mix with an electric mixer. In a separate bowl, mix the cream cheese and condensed milk together until smooth. (DON'T CHEAT! Make sure it's smooth). Gently add the cool whip into the cream cheese mixture and then add to the pudding mixture. Stir until completely blended.

Step 3: Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas. Then top it off with a final layer of cookies.

 

Step 4: Refrigerate! You could eat it right away but I suggest refrigerating for 1-2 hours so it gets nice and cool. The way banana pudding should be eaten.

 

I hope you like this recipe as much as I do. It has become a staple in my recipe arsenal, and it is a quick and easy dish to bring to any get together or party you may have especially during this hectic holiday season. 

Happy Eating and lots of love to HH today. Happy Birthday Beb, we all love you very much

xoxo Tanner